Hey y’all, I know it’s been a long time since our last conversation and I’m really sorry for that. There has been a lot going on in our lives (as I’m sure there has been for may of you too). During my silence, I’ve been working on myself and trying to figure out exactly who I am because I’ve somehow lost myself somewhere in these past several months. I guess I just let myself get overwhelmed and distracted by situations that steam rolled right over top of my little family.

How is it that life always seems to get in the way? Isn’t it funny how we say or start things with good intentions only to be pulled into every direction except the one we need to be headed in? It seems like over the past year that’s happened a lot to so many people. Time and distance have not been kind to us recently, have they?

October was the last time we met and I can’t help but think about how much life has changed since then.

Last we spoke, I was waist deep into Will’s freshman year of college and our first season as AU Spartans and boy oh boy, has the experience been one to remember. Right around the time I last posted, Will suffered a concussion during practice one day that left him out for the season. That was a scary moment for us. When your children play sports, you understand the risk they take but can’t fully appreciate the magnitude of it until the moment the risk becomes a reality. He has since recovered and was able to be declared a medical red shirt for his freshman year and because of that, he will be eligible to play his 5th year of college too and he’s pretty excited about getting that extra time on the field.

We are doubly thankful for that fifth year in these unpredictable moments we face. Because of covid, we are looking down the barrel of the very real possibility of no season for his sophomore year and I gotta be honest, that is really breaking this Momma’s heart. 

He finished the season supporting his team from the sidelines and loving the experience even though he wasn’t able to play. The Spartans went on to become NACC (Northern Athletic Collegiate Conference) conference champs and made it two rounds into playoffs in a rebuild year with a brand new coach. A feat no one expected. As football season came to a close, his focus moved solely onto academics and he continued to prove he had the brains to go with that brawn.

Raegan has also had a full plate over the last few months. She got her first “big girl” job (as she put it) and has thrived in what she has done. She works at an eye center and is a Vision Therapist for children, working toward her licensing. It isn’t what she’d dreamed of doing but that fact certainly has not deterred her from throwing herself into what she does. She’s learned to love what she is doing until she is able to do what she loves…something those of us a little more seasoned miss out on sometimes. She calls me, periodically in the morning when we are both getting ready for work, sometimes on her lunch break or other times when she finds herself with a spare minute and we catch up on how life is going. It’s certainly odd when your grown children begin to check in with you (like you do your own parents) and talk about their grown up lives. I’m not sure if I will ever get use to it. Maybe someday but until then I think I’m going to simply enjoy the newness of it. I have to say, the thing I’m most proud of her for is her ability to adapt at whatever life hands her. It might make her sway from time to time but never really seems to be able to keep her down. 

Chuck and I have adapted pretty well to it being just the two of us. It’s scary when your kids leave home. You always hear the stories of parents worrying about their children flying out of the nest but no one talks about the other fear. No one prepares you for the emptiness in your house and the buffer being gone between you and your spouse. If I said I wasn’t a little anxious about it, I would absolutely be lying. We change during the raising and often when we come out the other side of it, we are very different people from who we were. Before the past few months, it has always been us and the kids. We’ve never had a moment (until now) when it’s been just us. “What if we really don’t like each other anymore?” If you’ve never asked that question yourself, I’d bet dollars to donuts you know someone who has and trust me when I say, that fear is a very real whisper in the dark for many spouses. Especially spouses who have walked through certain types of hell together. Even when it shouldn’t be, it just is. My husband was a trooper during that adjustment period (and continues to be today). Instead of feeding any worry I may have had, he constantly told me there was nothing to it, that what some couples go through when they become empty nesters wouldn’t happen to us. Don’t tell him I told you but he was absolutely right. In the past year we have thrived, become so much closer than we ever have been and have never been happier.

We’ve realized how much we really do enjoy each other’s company. Whether it’s a comfortable silence, a deep conversation or time spent with friends, we’ve realized just how very much we enjoy each other’s company. It’s a pretty awesome thing, waking up one day and realizing you’ve fallen in love with your husband (or wife) all over again. 

Our bubble doesn’t completely shut out the rest of the world though. everyday we talk about the turmoil, sickness and all out hatred around us. In these times, where being right is more important than how you treat others, we are more thankful than ever about how we raised our kids. Both Raegan and Will learned to love others no matter what color, religion, financial situation or what ever other categories we put people in. They were also taught that it was ok to stand their grounds and express their beliefs…in the right way. I’m not naive though. I know both of them have had their moments where what was instilled in them has been tested and overshadowed by anger for what they see happening around them. Still, I see them do their best to be the best version of themselves no matter what they face. Chuck and I strive to live our lives the same way, though I’m sure there are many days you could look in our windows and see how we fail at it.

I often wonder what the world would look like If we all just tried to do our best. No labels, no class division. Just a society trying to understand each other. I know I said I wasn’t naive but that last sentence sure makes it sound that way, doesn’t it? I’m really not though. I guess I just wish we all had the capacity to love like Jesus. 

I hope all of you are staying safe and healthy in this strange world we are facing. Honestly, I have been away for entirely too long and as I sit here with my fingers traveling over the keys, I’m curious about how your lives have been and if you have faced any uncertainties similar to what we have. If so, I pray peace for you that it is all going to be alright and work out exactly like it is suppose to. That’s what I’ve been learning during my time away. Let go of it. Quit trying to manipulate it. Accept that sometimes failure leads to success. Trust in God’s plan. And breathe. Just breathe. 

It’s been good catching up with you. I hope you find yourself blessed wherever you walk today. 

Talk to you again soon!